Signs of the GEED Apocalypse – Smart Car Flipping

In some backwards ass Euro-trash version of cow tipping, those Douchebags in Amsterdam are getting together on the weekends and heading to the nearest bridge in order to throw some innocent persons car over the edge and into the water.

Now, normally we would be the first people to condone and participate in the destruction of various objects, but we do so in a responsible manner and with a goal in mind – to make a pledge clean it up. However, in this case, there are no pledges paying for cleaning supplies or rebuilding these cars. That burden falls upon the owners, making this entire incident completely and utterly stupid. Imagine if some Douchebag Amsterdam youth/bi-sexual/X-ed out whack-job decided to toss your car over a bridge after you were leaving the bar with some nice piece of tail headed back to your place.

Let that sink in.

Yep, we’d kill that motherfucker too.

And this last picture is for your enjoyment. I mean this Smart Car is getting fucked up by a Mercedes sedan:

Signs of the GEED Apocalypse – Why NOT to Post Your Party on Facebook

Bet this pair of GEEDs thought that putting their high school house party on Facebook would make them look sweet. Obviously they were too busy half-masting to the potential gain in popularity to think of what might happen when advertising an underage festival on a public forum. Clearly, the thought “Hmm maybe a whole bunch of people we don’t want to come here will come because we put the time, date, and place in plain view of the entire world, including the police” never crossed their minds.

And that “whole bunch” turned out to be, oh, around 150 people who crashed their party and attracted subsequent police attention. Well, calling it attention its actually an understatement. Try 70 police officers from 2 departments, 20 cruisers, 8 vans, multiple K-9 units, and a goddamn helicopter. That’s some serious fucking overkill for 13 year old kids raging in the street.

Now don’t get us wrong. We are sympathetic to the plight of unwanted guests at private parties. It happens to us each and every weekend when a shitstorm of GEEDs who previously claimed to be “too good for the Greek scene and had no reason to buy their friends” proceed to descend upon our parties and consume all our alcohol, much like a swarm of locusts devouring a crop.

Yet there is the undeniable fact that these two kids were fucking douchebags. I mean seriously were you that desperate for attention that you needed a Facebook event for this party? And have you ever tried, oh I don’t know, not wearing random shit on your arms and neck? Soon, these two will be in college, bringing their douchebagness to a higher level. Clearly, the GEED Apocalypse is upon us.

A Day of Unprecedented Loss and Grieving

And I’m not talking about the whole MJ bullshit – I mean really, half the people pretending to care didn’t even know who the guy was before he died.

He also dressed like a fucking douchebag. I bet theres a reason Ed Hardy lives in the Neverland Ranch now, and it’s not the little boys…

I’m referring to the saddness that all of us in the Greek community experienced when Bolivia’s largest cocaine lab was raided today. Some goddamn GEED in the US Government had the balls to call this the “most important success against drug traffickers for a long time.” I call this the most depressing in a long line of similar incidents. It seems that since our fratty DKE George W left office the country has turned to shit and given power hungry GEEDs the nerve to ruin the lives and parties of the children of those Greeks they hated so much in college.

Let’s have a real day of mourning for something we all actually give a shit about.

Signs of the GEED Apocalypse

In some of the most disappointing news of the year, the great state of North Carolina has given in to the non-smoking and generally opposed to fun groups that seem to be taking over our nation.

Gov. Bev Perdue said she would sign the legislation, hailing “an important and historic day for North Carolina.”

What a fucking douchebag.

It seems the slightly less great, but still better than New Jew-rsey, state of Virgina is passing similar legislation beginning next year.

This, my fellow alcoholics, is the beginning of the end.

Source: http://www.outsidethebeltway.com/archives/north_carolina_bans_smoking_in_restaurants_bars/