Really Obama? Bud Light?

The President of the United Fucking States decided that he would drink a Bud Light during his recent chat with a police officer and some other important yet seemingly useless people.

Wow.

As the President, who is able to get anything and everything he wants, you choose to drink something that us impoverished college students wouldn’t even buy at a goddamn bar? The fuck is wrong with you?

Bud Light, and its other variants, should only come from a keg at best, and only when one is extremely cocked to begin with. At least the cop, who for those of you who don’t know was the guy who arrested that crazy black college professor for throwing a hate filled fit (not, as was reported, for breaking into his own home), chose Blue Moon. Even if our President was trying to be patriotic, Bud isn’t even owned by an American company anymore.

How about a quality Harpoon, Sam Adams, or Yuengling? Or at least a 40 of Steel Reserve…

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You Want to Fuck YOUR Life? Fuck Mine First

Just spilled my parent’s 300 dollar bottle of tequila on thier couch.

Happy Times

Two nights ago, on July 4th, I was craving a cigarette right around 10:30 pm.

Now you might say “Well no shit”, or even “Why the fuck didn’t you have one in the first place”.

Both are valid points. However, being with my current girl’s family, and her status as a D1 scholarship athlete, I decided to hide my unhealthy habits untill I was securely in place with her and able to mooch without fear of reprocussion.

However, 30 beers and 12 hours into the 4th of July party, I had enough. I don’t care if she never speaks to me again, I need a goddamn cigarette.

Around 10:34, I did what any normal fratlete would do – I called a pledge. Needless to say, he did not answer.

By 10:36, several phone calls later, I approached a friend who said that “The 7-11 down the street is probably open. They’re Indian.”

On my way there, I see a semi-crushed pack of cigarettes in the street. I kick it in disgust.

5 seconds later I had a revelation. Having kicked, punted, and otherwise anihilated many a pack in my life, I realized that this pack was not empty. Indeed it was HALF full (not half empty you fucking geeds). To make things even better, they were Marlboro Menthol Lights.

Goat

Sent from my motherfucking iPhone

I Need a Pledge

I am currently drunk as shit. OI mean holy hell im trashed. All thanks to that beAutiful southern inventiuon named bourbon, specificallly Evan Williams. Yes, I am too poor at the moment to afftpord such creations as Wild Turkeyt 101, or even Wild Crow. Yewt i persist with my fratting under these circumstancexs.All of which leads me tro my point of needing a pledge. I am out of ciggarettes. I am in gthe god forsake n North. I refuese to pay 8 dollars for a packj of Camel Lights. IU frankly refusze to pay anything for the,. That is what pledges are for. They buy the cigs you so desperately want, and then proce3ed to tote them around for you and deliver upon you a fresh and un-crushed cig whenver you so desire.

God bless the frat life, and god bless the south.

Fuck the Northm yours truly, Goat

Update: As Willy has just informed me, he hates initiating pledges because “5hen they don’t do0 shit for me”

Update Part Due: Netflix on my FratBox 360 was the best 8.99 i ever spent, except for that 6 pack of Maagic hat numba nueve i bought the other day whichw as fucking epic

Educating the Masses

Questions about anything related to fratting? Ask the experts here at Fratology 101 in the comments or by emailing us at willysgoat@gmail.com.

Also, feel free to send us any ridiculous stories and obscene pictures you may have, and we will post them along with our insensitive and ignorant comments.